他的腳，我的意識飄忽著，我不知道自己說了什么不知道自己做了什么，等我回過神來的時候，我早已將他緊緊地鎖進懷里，我的後背，也被一雙熟悉又陌生的力量緊緊箍住，那一瞬間，我忽然想，就這么死了，我也甘願了。

「小笛……小笛……小笛……」我一遍遍喊著他的名字，一遍遍聽到他的回應，這聲讓我等了太久的哥哥，如今每次聽到卻是像根針一樣狠狠刺著我的心臟，讓我在痛中明白，我還活著，我活著，找到了他。

dear, i ot speak the fee1ing hen you stand at me, a1k to me, on1y ido is just to fix my eyes on you. do you kno? i am afraid, i am afraid that its just a dream, 1ike the dreams i have dreamt for every day and night of these five years. through your expression, isee ho exnetished, ho painfu1 i as at that moment. baby, you have not fotten the 1ife e had together in the past, have you? i got a severe stomanetot benetd, the end1ess aiting, the ho1e box of cigarette, just because of you, of your fantasy expression in your beautifu1 eyes, as the memory has been netd.

baby, you are banet my arms. hen i tounetd1e your fair p1exion, i eventua11y rea1ize that you are rea11y banetot 1eave me again, do not, e i11 be together, e i11 1ive an exneto on, i promise, i ear to you.

寫下這段文字，是在我回到北京的兩天後，我至今無法相信他竟然回來了，竟然在我回過頭時就映在我眼里，一切太過突然，讓我一瞬間不知所措，那一瞬間迸的濃烈的情緒早已勝過了一切苦惱一切掙扎一切猶豫，我愛他，我要他，我只要他一個，就足夠了。

不知道那么相擁了多久，直到蘇牧成的聲音響起，「王若飛，你怎么又來了……」

我松開小笛，卻依舊拉著他的手，他笑著反過來握得更緊。

「我來找他，我找到了，我來要回他。」

「……」蘇牧成沉默地盯著我，直到阿姨走過來咳了兩聲，「有事……進屋說吧，挺冷的，好不好？」